DownsofFire: Apologies, And A Rant

Hello there, DownsofFire here…. Two months later. Okay the thing is this: we are lazy as fuck. So, to excuse the leave of absence, I’m going to start a shitstorm. How is that, I hear you asking. Well, I’m going to talk about a sensitive subject among the anime fan community: Dubbed Vs. Subbed. As you can tell, this will turn out pleasantly and, for future reference, this is a rant that I’m doing because I don’t have the equipment to make a video rant for youtube. So, with that out of the way, let’s get to the rant.

            As an anime fan, however minor my fan-ness is, I’ve noticed something among the various fanbases in that people prefer different viewing styles. I’ve categorized these people into four groups.

            Group A: The Dubbed Elitists. These are the people who think that every dubbed version is equal, if not better than, the original Japanese dub of anime. And they’re assholes about it.

            Group B: The Subbed Purists. These are the people that believe that any and all English dubbed anime is shit and that Anime should stay Japanese. They are also assholes about it.

            Group C: The *Insert Language Here* (*ILH* for short) Elitists. These are the people who think that dubs in their languages are godly and better than anything else, except the original Japanese version, but they tout their language more. It should be mentioned, these people are assholes about it.

            And Group D: The Flexible Fans. These are the people who don’t care one way or the other. They can watch both dubbed and subbed and see the ups and downs of both. They can watch one thing more than the other, but they’re decent people about it… for the most part.      

            If you give a damn, I’m a part of Group D. I can watch both subbed and dubbed and enjoy it either way. However, I watch more dubbed since it’s my native language and I enjoy the voices, for the most part. Is every dub good? Not in the slightest. However, is the original Japanese version God? No. Are other languages better? I don’t know, I couldn’t care less.

            Now the thing is that not every person who is completely one-sided for a certain version is an asshole. Some people just don’t like the English dub and they say so respectively and with decency. The same with some pure dub fans. And *insert language here* fans.

            However, my main gripe is with the fucking opinionated assholes who think that touting their preferred version makes them fucking ARCEUS! Seriously, you assholes have nothing, NOTHING, better to do than put down anything you don’t like. I don’t care if you think this anime is better subbed, but don’t find every video related to it spouting your crap about how the English dub is trash!

            I’ve seen this a LOT on Digimon videos. At about Christmas time, I started re-watching Digimon from season 1 in English. It’s awesome and I’m on season 4 as of this writing. So I go to youtube to find videos about Digimon related stuff. What do I find in the comments?

            “Boo hoo, Japanese is better! This theme song sucks! The voices are shit! Wah wah fucking WAH!”

            Or, “This sucks! *Insert Language Here* is WAY better than this! :)”

            To put it bluntly, WE DON’T CARE! It’s becoming a risk to look at the comments section on ANY Digimon video now because these people make it seem like fans of the dub are the fucking Devil. You like the Japanese/*Insert Language Here*? That’s perfectly fine. Just don’t be an opinionated asshole about it.

            To give a more specific example, I was watching the opening for Digimon Adventure 01 (Season 1). I go down to the comments, some good, some bad. One said specifically

            “This is horrible. My language, Finnish, is my favourite :)”

            … Okay, cool. You’re a complete douche about it. Congrats! That’s an example of *Insert Language Here* asshole-ness. But I did see one comment that brought a little faith back.

            “Nice, but not as epic as the Japanese or German intros.” That’s a decent, respectful comment. He admits that while he likes the English opening, he prefers others. But the one thing that REALLY makes me sad is that, no one will defend the English version. So I finally posted a comment saying

            “Am I the ONLY one who likes the English version?” I got 13 replies from fans of the English opening finally stating, to the internet, that they like it as well. That’s sad that one person has to illicit the aid of 13 people.

            But, away from Digimon, what is my overall feeling of this whole scenario? Well, I don’t mind people with different opinions if they’re respectful of others. Dub/Sub/*ILH* people who respect that something is good but prefer something else or say something is bad but won’t talk blatant trash about it are people I can respect.

            It’s the god damn, shitfaced, motherfucking, cock sucking, anal fisting, jizz guzzling, nausea inducing, opinionated assholes who piss me the fuck off! I don’t care if you prefer something else, JUST DROP THE ISSUE AND WATCH WHAT YOU WANT TO WATCH GOD DAMN IT!

            I’m DownsofFire. I rant about it so you don’t have to (Please forgive the obvious Nostalgia Critic ripoff line)

R.I.P Old Friend. MAJOR NARUTO SPOILERS!

I..... I'm in shock, right now. It's Zerojackson here, bringing you something that I would never thought of seeing. I can't even....... Wow. Just wow. I can't even form the right words, I best just show you:
Neji Hyuga is dead. Dead and gone. He saved Naruto and Hinata from a rain of spikes at the cost of his own life. The Hyuga Prodigiy, the genius, the one who would break the brand all of branch Hyuga's foreheads. But, he can't. He's........ I was in such shock and horror as I read this. Of all the people to die, Neji.... wasn't one of them. Not at all. Kakashi, maybe? Lee? Gai? Maybe even Hinata? But not Neji.
Neji and I, we've had a coloured history.
When I first started watching Naruto, and we got too the Chunnin Exams arc, I loathed Neji. Fucking hated him. He was a pompous ass who was horrible to his teammates, and everyone around him. Especially Hinata. The way he treated her was appalling  and in my eyes, he deserved to be burned to a crisp.
Eventually, though,, Naruto managed to beat him in the finals. Somehow. And he taught Neji to stop spouting destiny crap, and open his eyes. Properly. And I slowly started to like him.
However, my vision him was tainted, and it wasn't even his fault. Canon Neji, anyway. You see, I read an utterly disturbing fanfiction that still haunts me to this day. In it, Neji would rape Hinata over and over each night, and even though Naruto was Hokage, he refused to do anything. Because he would lose his best ninja. This fuelled my former hatred for the man into something more ravenous than ever before. I loathed him far more. I wished him to be dead, and crushed. And it was unfair. Eventually, I broke out of that pathetic rage, and realised that it was fanfiction. Fanfiction is utterly fantastic, and truly an amazing thing, allowing people to shape there own stories out of the plot of someone else's work. It allows for growth as a writer, and sharing as a community. However, in the wrong hands, it can destroy opinions, and fuel rage.

And it's truly sad, that I never really got to know him. Sure, I'm watching through Shippuden, now, and learning more about him. But he's now official dead. And it's heartbreaking. all his life he's had to deal with being a slave to the main house, and while he went about it the wrong way, his hatred is fair and admirable.
He was a genius, a fantastic fighter and a man with a good heart. I know it's weird for someone to be this broken up over a character, but that's me. I get emotionally invested in the plot, world and characters. So, to see a character who I was just getting to know and love, snatched away from me.... is horrible. He was Neji Hyuga, genius, and by far one of the greatest and strongest ninja who ever lived. Smart, strong and with a good heart, he gave his life to protect Naruto and Hinata. Only the bravest and strongest can do that.
So, while I may not like it (at all) I bid thee well, Neji Hyuga. You will always remain in my heart as the strongest, and one of the greatest Hyuga and ninja in the world of Naruto. Without your sacrifice, Hinata's life would have been lost.
So, I ask all those who read this, even if they dislike Neji, to pay some respect. He's a fallen and brave warrior who died in battle. And I wish I got to know him better.
R.I.P Lord Neji Hyuga. May your soul finds it's way to wherever it must go. And watch over them all.


I'm too sad to do my usual goodbye. So, see ya around, for hopefully something brighter.

KiyumiArashi: Introductions

                                                            KiyumiArashi: Introductions.       

Hi, I'm KiyumiArashi. I'll be covering Naruto's 4th Shinobi World War Arc on this blog. I've been looking for some good commentary sites for the recent issues of the manga, but I can't find very many, so as they say… write what you want to read. I'll be giving commentary on the storyline and visual techniques used in the manga as well as the possible literary and pop-culture parallels, if there are any. 
I happen to be the only female on this crew. I think I'm also the oldest… both of which make me the most mature, right? Let's just go with that. I'm a fairly multifaceted individual, and my moods fluctuate wildly throughout any given day, so if my posts reflect that, well, I apologize profusely in advance. 
I don't really fit any stereotype… at least I don't think I do. Not that I hate labels. Sometimes it seems like it would be nice to be something, you know? Like you've got a place to belong. Heh. Not like that happens in real life though. Even the people who seem to fit one stereotype aren't much alike after all, and maybe they don't even get along with each other. I guess I'm just me. And I guess that's fine. :)

DownsofFire: Medabots Episode 1

DownsofFire: Medabots Episode 1

It’s Nostalgia Fest 2012, End o’ the World Edition. Why? Simple. Because I FUCKING LOVE MEDABOTS! Seriously. Next to Pokemon, it was THE kids show.

Now, it’s one of those obscure anime from my youth I didn’t know was an anime and only ever watched a couple episodes a year or so. But I always enjoyed it. Now then, flash forward to 2012. I’m watching a Top 10 video of someone’s favourite nostalgia shows. Number 10 is Medabots. So I decide to go to one of my 3 anime websites. And then I proceed to go nuts. I’m actually RE-re-watching Medabots now. But let’s leap out of the past and get back…. To the FUTURE. Or present. Ahem.

Medabots is about people using Medabots as tools for help, to settle bets, or just for fun. The main function, however, is Robattling. A robattle is a battle between two or more Medafighters and their Medabots. The winner of a robattle takes a single piece of the loser (Left/right arm, head, legs) Those are submission matches, watched over by a referee commissioned by the World Medabot Federation. The most prominent is Mr. Referee in Japan.

Medabots starts off with a man stumbling away from a flaming car wreck with a suitcase clutched in his arms. He falls down as a bunch of guys in rubber suits with antennae take the suit case, but are alerted to the presence of an odd mask-wearing man who calls himself the Phantom Renegade (Awesome name by the way). He manages to wrest the case from the group of people, claiming that what’s in the case is a rare medal for a Medabot.

After making his escape, the Phantom is hanging from under a bridge, fawning over his newly acquired medal. And, after a well-placed comment about the medal slipping through people’s fingers, drops it in the river below him.

The next day, at an elementary school, the leader of the Screws Gang, Samantha, challenges the student council to a Robattle so that the Screws can use the Student Council room as their main base of operations.

Now, the thing about Samantha is that in the English dub her voice is kind of rough and she is sometimes called Sam. This led a 10 year old me to think Samantha was a guy. But I’ve learned.

Anyway, Samantha and her Medabot, Peppercat, go against the Student Council president and his Dr. Bokchoy. And now, some stats

Peppercat: Cat Type. Medafighter: Samantha. Specialty: Electric Shock Attack.

Dr. Bokchoy: Student Type. Medafighter: Student Council President. Specialty: Scanner.

            

            Samantha and Peppercat win quickly, winning the student council room. However, watching the robattle was a boy named Ikki Tenryou. He makes a comment regarding Peppercat’s speed, noting that Samantha removed some armor and that with one good hit, Peppercat would’ve crumbled. This leads the Screws to make fun of Ikki since he doesn’t have a Medabot. Ikki then meets his friend, Erika, and her Medabot, Brass.

            

            Sailor-Multi (AKA Brass): Sailormate Type. Medafighter: Erika. Specialty: Shooting.

             

            

            Ikki then finds a medal in the river, a Hercules Beetle medal with the image etched in the medal a Hercules Beetle in, I think, larva or pupa form.

            Ikki then retreats to a 24 hour mart where the shopkeeper, Henry, almost talks Ikki into purchasing an outdated KBT (Kabuto) type Medapart set, even offering a Tinpet (The “Skeleton” of a Medabot) as a freebie. Ikki and Erika laugh it off as pathetic. Later that night, Ikki is at home, begging his mother once again for a Medabot. The news at the time says that Medabot bandits are overpowering Medafighters and stealing their Medaparts.

            This comes to fruition when a Screws member, Spyke, and his Medabot Cyandog encounter the Rockers.

            Cyandog: Dog Type. Medafighter: Spyke. Specialty: Shooting.

            

            Spyke loses his newly bought Bombardier (Launches missiles) Medapart to the Rockers. When relaying this information to Samantha, Samantha goes to confront the Rockers, only to then serve under them since they’re more powerful than her. She actually made the choice herself without a robattle.

            Erika and Ikki confront the Rockers, but they surround Erika and Brass with their Medabots, Blackram and Hellfire Phoenix (In the English dub it’s just Phoenix, but Hellfire Phoenix just sounds awesome) Ikki runs away from the fight to try and find a way to beat the Rockers. He encounters a chicken salesman who gives him a life lesson in not running away. Ikki then runs to the store and asks Henry for the Tinpet and Medaparts.

            Ikki puts it together and is given a Medawatch by Henry. A Medawatch is used by a Medafighter to control their Medabot during battle and to transport Medaparts and the Medabot itself. Once together, Ikki names the yellow robot before him Metabee.

            Metabee: Hercules Beetle Type. Medafighter: Ikki Tenryou. Specialty: Seeker Missile.

              

Running off with the medal in his Medawatch, Henry watched Metabee as Ikki confronts the Rockers. Mr. Referee declares a submission match.

He summons Metabee and inserts his medal. But Metabee doesn’t move. He gets bombarded with punches and set aflame, but he won’t move. Ikki, running out of options and getting frustrated that his first Medabot is seemingly defective, activates Metabee. But here’s how. It’s not a tearful “Runs up, want’s to protect him, Metabee awakens to protect his master” or a simple “Ikki pleads for Metabee to wake and he does to protect his master.” No. None of that shit. Here’s how Metabee activates: Ikki pissed him off.

That’s right. Ikki yells into his Medawatch “Move you stupid piece of JUNK!” Metabee activates and shakily gets up and shoots down the Blackram with Spyke’s bombardier arm. He then runs at Hellfire Phoenix and the other Blackram, dodging fire from Phoenix. He then punches Blackram into Hellfire Phoenix, who then goes into the Rockers. Their medals eject, signaling ceased function, and Mr. Referee declares Metabee the winner.

Ikki then basks in some pseudo glory as Erika berates him for running away. Ikki claims that he controlled Metabee perfectly. To which Metabee responds “Correction: You called ME a piece of junk.” Asking Ikki who the piece of junk is now, he starts firing his laser at Ikki as he runs away, with Henry lamenting that Metabee must be defective.

Final Stats: Peppercat wins Dr. Bokchoy’s Right arm. Metabee wins Blackram’s bombardier arm.

Now, to do some analyzing.

Characters: Honestly, this may be nostalgia talking, but I loved them. From the Screws to the Phantom Renegade, each main character is memorable. Ikki is that kid who knows what he’s doing, but doesn’t have the ability to show it. Erika is the friend who’s supporting, but can be somewhat harsh in her way of motivation. And Henry is that advice character with his alter ego as the Phantom Renegade.

Now before you all fire your Spoiler/Butthurt cannons at me, let me explain something. The reason I said Henry is the Phantom Renegade is that the show makes it so blatantly obvious that it’s a comedy point in the show. Hell, there’s a whole god damn episode based on it. Seriously, a 10 year old can figure it out. You know who the 10 year old was? Me. And everyone else. Basically, either Henry’s excuses are really good, or every character is dumb in the aspect of identifying masked people. Also, as a shopkeeper, Henry is your typical whipped employee who is just trying to do his job. But as the Phantom Renegade, he's got gadgets for days, knows what he's doing (Mostly) and is generally an all around bumbling thief/cool "mystery" figure.

The Dub: Honestly, is it super orgasmic? No. But, it’s good. The voices fit the characters, they’re relatively in sync (Some minor bits here and there but nothing major) and it’s just good.

Music: All I can say is this: The Intro. Watch it every single episode. It’s fucking awesome.

Animation: For 1997, it’s really good. The characters, especially the Medabots, move smoothly and you know what’s going on.

The Plot: Awesome. People using small robots to battle each other? Sign me up. And Metabee’s relationship with Ikki is very rocky and fragile. Metabee’s anger issues coupled with Ikki’s own stubbornness and mistakes lead to several fights between the two. But they do work well together, and they do become close.

Final Statement: It’s a nostalgic trip for me. Not only is this show awesome, but it’s awesome to the max. It’s not over the top. It’s got great characters, great music, animation, etc. To be honest, it’s not perfect. But to me, it’s one of those classics that can’t be replaced. Now this bit is actually for the whole series (Up to episode 53, the later episodes don’t count.) but my opinion still stands. It’s classic, and irreplaceable.

Final Score: 10/10

DownsofFire: Evangelion 1.11 You Are (Not) Alone

             DownsofFire: Evangelion 1.11 You Are (Not) Alone

Back in 1997, the animation studio named GAINAX created a series called Neon Genesis Evangelion. It’s widely considered one the best, and most fucked up, anime out there. Head forward to 2007, a movie comes out. It’s called Evangelion 1.11 You Are (Not) Alone.
Evangelion 1.11 is the first in the Rebuild of Evangelion Tetralogy, (Four movies baby). The movies are a remake of the original series with better animation, some new characters, and the same great story line.
The plot to this movie is basically the first 6 episodes of the original anime, beefed up with new animation, a couple new scenes, and a slight bit of editing. The way it starts is that Shinji Ikari is called by his estranged father to serve his organization, called Nerv, as a pilot for the experimental mechs called Evangelions. At first, Shinji is against it. However, he is unintentionally spurred to fight the creature, called an “Angel”, wreaking havoc on the surface with his Evangelion (EVA for short) EVA-01. 

A battle ensues with the Angel giving Shinji a beating that would make the most drunken redneck father jealous. Eventually, the Angel knocks Shinji out of commission. But EVA-01 decides to give this “Angel” a combination of a middle finger and a giant erect wang and gets the fuck back up on its own. EVA-01 then proceeds to give this douche nozzle a righteous ass beating, breaking the things arms, tearing off one of its faces, and then beats it to a pulp like a gorilla on steroids and bath salts.
And that’s just the first fight. It goes on and on.
Now story wise, it’s basically the same as the original anime. A couple new scenes were added, and a couple removed, but that doesn’t hurt it in any way. It’s faithful and doesn’t try to make too many changes.

The animation is amazing. The scenes are fun to watch. Whether it’s character interaction, or the beating of supernatural creatures, you’ll be amazed at how good it looks.
The music is the same as the original (To my knowledge) and helps tell the story of Shinji’s struggle for a purpose in life. Also the fight scenes.
The characters are memorable from the timid Shinji, to the eccentric Misato Katsuragi or the epically awesome EVA-01. Can you tell that I love that massive giant? Also, the dubbed voice acting is spot on, allowing you to know what the characters are feeling and… well I can’t really describe voices that well, so we’ll leave it at that.
In terms of complaints, my only complaint is that when Shinji first meets his classmates, they just appear with Toji punching Shinji in the face, as opposed to the original where he wondered who Shinji was before punching him after he found out. Other than that, nothing special.
All in all, this is a faithful remake of the first 6 episodes of the original NGE series. The music, characters, story are just like the original. Hell, some scenes are shot for shot with the original, just better animation. Final score: 9.5/10

Fairy Tail-Episode 1-Anime Review: Zerojackson.

                                Fairy Tail: Episode 1

                                   

I think it's relevant to start this review off with my thoughts originally on Fairy Tail. I had heard about the anime/manga series through the grapevine by watching anime reviewers on  Youtube, but never decided to check it out. Why? I'm going to be brutally honest here, but I thought it looked stupid. And by stupid, I mean babyish. Now, I know how horrible a thing to say that is, as Anime are not babyish, obviously. But, to me, it looked as though this was something completely and utterly not worth my time. You've got flying cats, and Wizards. Now, don't get me wrong, I love Wizards and all. I just felt as though it would be sorta like this:

Fire Wizard Casts Flare! Does 10 points of damage!

Water Wizard Casts Hydro Pump! It does 6999999 points of damage! It's super effective.

I dunno, that was just my original thoughts. However, the series has been gaining increasing popularity from what I can tell. I'm not a big reader of Manga, I prefer Anime. Always have, and always will. Nothing wrong with Manga, I just prefer watching things rather than reading. Although, I don't see Manga as the same as a book. Maybe it's just because it has more words? Bah, I dunno.

I should also point out, rather quickly, that I will be making many comparisons to Naruto. It's probably the only anime that I've seriously watched, unless you count Pokemon when I was Ten. So, yeah. That's all I have to say, let's get onto the review!

Fairy Tail: Episode 1- The Fairy Tail.

So, we start things off with a narrator (watching this in sub, btw, I don't know if there is dub for this....) telling us about the Kingdom of Fiore, home to about 16 million people, I believe. There, magic is a something that is a common occurrence  and Wizards are aplenty. Most Wizards join Guilds, a meeting place where Wizards can interact among themselves and take on jobs.

We start off the episode in the port town of Hargeon, where we are introduced to our two main characters.

The first is a pink haired boy by the name of Natsu. And the other.... is talking blue cat by the name of Happy. Now, this was one of the reasons I disliked and did not want to watch Fairy Tail in the first place, because of the flying cats. However, my judgement is that both of these two are fairly likeable  Happy's catchphrase 'Aye' is nowhere near as annoying as 'Believe it!' from Naruto. And, also, in another comparison, I much prefer Natsu to Naruto. By far. But, we'll get to that later.

Anyway, a attendant at the train station goes to ask Happy is Natsu is okay, which he replies that he always get's like this while travelling.

This is something that interests me. According to what I know so far (Keep in mind I've watched to Episode Two, and have gone into this completely and utterly blind) it seems that Natsu get's sick from any kind of travelling that is not on foot. This is a rather interesting affair for a main character, and could be used against him. That's one of the things that I think everyone should look for in characters. Well, there are three things: Likeability (Or hatred, depending on whether the character is a good or bad guy) being able to relate to the character, and whether or not you can get into and push for the character to succeed.

And this is where things get interesting for me. Natsu intrigues me. I really, really like him. And I don't know why. He's not as loud, or as boisterous as Naruto, which is a plus in my book, but he does have those moments. Maybe it's because he's just someone people like? Maybe, but I really should get on with the review and stop waffling. Keep in mind that I will waffle a lot, and I mean a lot during these reviews.

So, they get off the train after some comedic relief (which is something I dislike, but more on that later) and Happy mentions that there information should be correct about somebody being in this town. This somebody, or rather something is known as 'Salamander', a person which they are both looking for.

The scene cuts and- HOLY SHIT HOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!

*Ahem*

Anyway, the scene cuts to where a blonde girl is standing in a magic store, looking for a bunny to pull out of a top hat, or something. Her name is Lucy.

Something I've noticed about this particular Anime is that not too many people have Japanese names. I don't know, is Lucy Japanese? Perhaps....

Anyway, I'm not going to lie and say I'm not biased because Lucy is sooooo hot! She, like, really is. Holy sweet baby jesus...

So, she spots a 'key' and tries to bribe the old owner to lower the price using her looks.

I should point out that I much prefer Lucy to say, Sakura, in the original Naruto series. She actually does some shit. And she's hot! But, no seriously, I think that Lucy being somewhat useful, and yet not, annoys and makes me smile at the same time. That made no sense, but I'll get more into her during the next review for Episode 2. Just know, she's FUCKING HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yup.

So, she get's angry because he only lowered the price by about 1000 gems (the currency in Fiore, apparently) and apparently her looks weren't worth it.

Seriously though, someone wrap Lucy up for Christmas. And, preferably under all that wrapping she's not wearing anything? Yeah, thanks.

So, she overhears some girls talking about the great and almighty 'Salamander!' and she goes to investigate.

We cut back to Natsu and Happy, and the human of the group is complaining that he's very hungry, but the cat gleefully informs him that they have no money. Seriously, I swear this cat is fucking happy all the time. I understand it's in his name, but seriously.

Random Guy- "Holy shit the orphanage is on fire and they were having a 'Show Off Cute Puppy and Kitten Day' and they are all burning to death OMFG!!!!!!!"

Happy- "Yay! They're all burning! I can smell there burnt flesh! Yay, I'm eating great tonight! FEED ME FOR I AM THE DEVIL INCARNATE!!!!!"

........

Anyway, so Natsu and Lucif- I mean Happy come across a group of girl's screaming over Salamander. Natsu hopes that this is 'Igneel', who is apparently a Fire Dragon. I know Twilight is over now, and even though I don't actually hate those movies, do you people really need to find something else to latch onto? First it's Vamps, and now Fire Dragons. I'm looking forward to the Smurf phase...

'2014... AN EPIC WOMAN BY THE NAME OF LUCY HAPPY GOES ON A QUEST TO DISCOVER THE LOST TREASURE OF MENTRYINGTOGETINTOMYPANTS. ALONG THE WAY, SHE IS FORCED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE MYSTERIOUS DRAGON CDWARD EULLEN, OR THE SEXY CENTAUR BACOB JLACK. WHO WILL SHE CHOOSE!!!!???'

I'm copyrighting that shit....

Anyway, it turns out that it's not Igneel, but some random Wizard dude, named Salamander.

Lucy notices that she is falling in love with this guy more by the minute, and finds this very odd. Of course, she can't stop it, and is soon reduced into a fangirl...

Until Natsu jumps in. He's pissed that it's not a Fire Dragon, and shouts to Salamander "Who the heck are you!?"

And, he walks away in anger that it's not his beloved sex beast. And then raging fangirls pummel him into oblivion for disrespecting Salamander. Said fellow offers him an autograph, which he refuses. And he is pummeled into Oblivion, again.
So, Salamander leaves on pink flames as he spins into the sky. Lucy is pretty pissed off, as she stomps over and thanks Natsu and Happy expressively.  She explains that Salamander was using a charm spell/ring/ thing to make people fall in love with him, and that it has been banned for ages. After a rant, she asks if there is anything she can do for them.
Cue Natsu gorging himself on food while Lucy looks on somewhat disgusted. Anyway, she then explains to them about guilds, and how she has yet to join one herself, but wants too. I find the idea of guilds fantastic. With the possibility of so many guilds that one could create, it could seem feasible to have many different characters and plotlines. Perfect for Fanfiction.
So, after gushing over the guilds, Lucy asks them who they were looking for. Natsu and Happy explain they were looking for Ingeel, who's a Fire Dragon. Naturally, Lucy shouts at them for being stupid, and states that there was no way in hell a Fire Dragon would ever be sighted in a city.
And, then they react like this. This is one of the main problems I have with Anime. I don't want to say it's childish, because that's not the right word. It's just not my type of humor  There are some hilarious segments in later episodes that are genuinely funny, but stuff like this also appears a lot and just doesn't interest me. However, this story is weird in of itself, so I'll let it slide. Well, no I won't. I just hope it gets better as the series goes on...
Anyway, there's a scene where Lucy walks off and Natsu and Happy thank her by bowing. This embarrasses her, she shouts at them yadda yadda yadda. As I said, I'm not interested in this type of  humor. 
So the scene cuts to Lucy reading a magazine, (which includes a really hot pin-up model, who'll we'll meet later on) and Salamander sorta leaps out of the bushes. That's not creepy at all.
Of course, Lucy is pissed that she was tricked, and, too 'make it up to her' he offers her an invitation to his party on his giant boat. She hotly declines, saying she want's nothing to do with him. I probably should, at this point, show a picture of Salamander:
He's not actually that bad looking, really. I should point out that I'm not someone who's attracted to just one gender. I should have probably pointed that out in the introduction. But, it's besides the point. Just know that I will comment on how attractive I think a character is, being a boy or a girl.
Anyway, Salamander makes a comment that he is a member of the guild Fairy Tail. This immediately causes Lucy to go ga-ga over the man, and states in her head that she's always had a dream of joining Fairy Tail.
Salamander promises to put in a good word for her, if she comes to the party.
I wonder what she's going to say.....
Anyway, the scene cut's to Natsu and Happy chatting, and they overhear some girls talking about Salamander being from Fairy Tail, and being on the boat on the horizon. Natsu looks and immediately feels sick. Best hero ever.
Lucy is in Salamander's private quarters, I believe, as he tries seducing her. He offers her some some wine for a toast, using his magic to try and glide droplets of it into her delectable mouth. However, she senses something's amiss, and then realizes he's using sleep magic!
And so, she, well, stands up, bitch slaps the droplets away like a boss and calls him a perverted asshole dick-headed douche. Well, okay, she doesn't. But, that's what she was thinking.
Anyway, he lowers some curtains surrounding the room. And reveals a ton of men all handling and holding unconscious women. Lucy realizes that this was just a ruse to round up women too..... I don't really know. Have his way with them? Keep them as sex slaves? Sell them? Eat their livers? The possibility's are endless!
Anyway, Lucy has a really short 'fight' and I use the term loosely, as Lucy get's ready to use her 'keys' which allow her to summon helpers from other dimensions. Salamander just bitch-slaps it out of her hand and into the ocean, and she admits defeat. Seriously, I would keep a few off of the key-chain, just in case something like that happened to me.
Anyway, just as all hope is lost, and our well endowed character is about to be eaten/captured/ravished by Salamander and his motley crew......
Natsu crashes through the top of the ship. He's ready to save the day with his amazing skills- oh, wait, no, he looks as though he's going to through up. Long live out illustrious protagonist.
Lucy berates him, but, she is luckily saved by the Devil Incarnate Happy and his wings!!! Yes, freaking wings! Apparently it's type of magic. Flying cats, woo! Using his tail, he carries her out of there and away into the night.
And then the transformation magic thing ends, and they both plummet into the ocean. Lucy manages to retrieve her keys, and summons Aquarius!!! 
Happy almost orgasms because she thinks he sees a fish, and the summoned spirit thing informs Lucy that if she drops her key again she'll kill her. Gotta love loyalty, wait till you see some of the others....
Anyway, she uses her pot of justice to sweep the boat onto the beach, along with Happy and Lucy. Poor Natsu probably threw up everywhere.
Anyway, Aqua then remarks that she failed. She states that she got the boat as well, causing Lucy to facepalm, more or less. And then she disappears, and tells Lucy not too call her, as she's going on vacation with her boyfriend. This was the funniest moment in the episode, and had me giggling and laughing happily. Because you can giggle sadly....
So, Salamander and his goons are chilling, when Natsu leaps out of the wreckage and states that Salamander isn't a member of Fairy Tail. He states angrily that he would recognize him, and vice-versa. Happy then subtly (sarcasm) informs Lucy that Natsu is in fact a Fairy Tail member!!! This actually shocked me... Don't ask why.
So, after a goon mentions that Salamander is in fact Bora, who was kicked out of his guild. 
And then they commence battle. Now, I should point out that, as you know, I thought the fights were going to be horrible. They're not. They're amazing!!!!
I never thought I would like the fight scenes so much, but I do. I didn't think they would be so fast paced, so energetic. The fight is actually really short, and I don't want to spoil the fight itself, but the best scene is when Bora uses his pink flame to do a line across the port town that makes it erupt in an explosion. It was like something out of Dragonball Z! 
Anyway, Bora tries to use his red/pink carpet attacks on Natsu, but he eats it! Yup. Happy explains that Natsu's ability is that he uses a rare and powerful magic called Dragon Slayer, that allows him to change parts of his body into that of a Fire Dragon to use. It doesn't literally turn his body parts into a dragon, it envelops them in flames or something. It was used slay dragons, and it was ironically taught to Natsu by a dragon! Gotta love irony... 
Anyway, the fight ends with.......

A FALCON PUNCH!!!!!
And so, Bora is defeated by Natsu with a flaming punch to the face.
The City Guard come to arrest and murder Natsu, Happy and Lucy for ruining their FUCKING TOWN! Seriously!? Assholes, there is such a thing as damage control...
Natsu grabs Lucy and runs, and remarks that she wanted to join Fairy Tail. And so, Lucy is rather happy being a fugitive on the run from the City Guard..... I wonder if it's ever mentioned again the amount of lives and damaged they may have destroyed!!!

And that's it. That's the episode. 
Well, was it good?
Let's review it with a scoring system:

Plot: It's the same plot that begins most anime, I believe. One throw away villain does something bad and the protagonists shows off how awesome he is picking up a sidekick or a cast of side characters along the way. However, since I've only seen this in the few anime I've seen, I'll leave it be. But, still, it's stereotypical for an anime opening episode, and they could have tried to break the mold. They really could of. 6/10.
Setting: The port town of Hargeon is really pretty, and I like the premise so far with the Guilds and the Magic. I would am enjoying it a ton. 9/10.
Characters: Natsu is a likeable protagonist, Lucy is hot and a good supporting character, and I look forward to seeing her develop. Happy is..... I dunno, I wouldn't say unneeded, and his catchphrase (Aye!!!!!!!!!!!) is rather cute. Still, the void could have been filled by a human character. But, there is some funny banter with Lucy along the way. 8/10.
Humor: This is the weakest point, at least for me. The only funny bit was with the summon, and everything else was so weak and sorta childish that it made me want to skip over some parts. 2/10.
Animation: I'm no Wizard, and while it's not the best looking shit ever, it's still fantastic to look at and solid all around. The circle things that they do when they use magic look fantastic. As does the last shot. Really nice to look at. 9/10.
Sound: I'm not really going to comment. The music was nice enough, I guess. 7/10.
Overall Enjoyment: Would I recommend watching this episode? Yes, not mentioning the fact that it's the first episode of the first season, the characters are interesting, the fight scenes good, the animation and sound solid, the plot is interesting, and deep enough to entice me to watch further,  and Lucy has boobs! What more could you ask for!?
Overall: 8/10. A solid first episode that somewhat annoys me with the humor and Happy. Well, I can't really say he's annoying, more that he's not really that important. I will definitely be watching more, and I recommend you do the same!
Have a great morning/afternoon/evening/night!

Signed,
Jackson.

Introductions: DownsofFire

                          Introductions: DownsofFire                                                              

Well, this is awkward. I’ll start of by saying that you need to bite the pillow for I’ll be going in dry. Ok, now to end the petty sex jokes. Call me DownsofFire. To quote Rokusho from Medabots “My name is of no importance.” And I’d like to keep it that way, at least for a while.
Apparently I’m supposed to do a bit about myself. To start off, I’m Canadian. Yeah. I’m also an avid writer, gamer (A very minor avid gamer), listener and player of music, and I read a shit-ton. In terms of writing, I’m writing some fanfiction, and I’ve recently finished a book I intend to publish. In terms of games, anything that strikes my fancy. In terms of music, I play Bass Clarinet and I listen to Rock, orchestral, J-Rock, and videogame soundtracks. And in terms of reading, fiction.
Religiously, I’m what I call a “Non-believer” This means I don’t give a flying fuck about anything and am un-affiliated with any religious/non-religious group. Don’t give me a label, I’m me.
A little more, I guess. I got into anime when I decided to actually watch Naruto when Cartoon Network had a 3 day marathon. I was 12, turning 13. Flash forward to me, 16. My cousin was visiting me and he had Hellsing Ultimate and Girls Bravo. Hellsing: awesome, Girls Bravo: Hilarious. And there it is, not as colourful as Zerojacksons, but I’m not colourful, I’m white.
I tend to enjoy either action/gorey types, or ecchi/harem/comedy types. I generally like whatever stirkes my fancy and I’m generally accepting of dubs (For those elitist assholes who think you’re superior to me because I watch dubs, go violently hump an active chainsaw). My favourite anime are: Hellsing Ultimate (OVA), Code Geass, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Medabots, Naruto, Angel Beats, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Heaven’s Lost Property, Girls Bravo, Sekirei, and Trigun.
I started writing fanfiction this summer, starting with a yuri-fic. It’s gotten more views than my OC story, but hey, porn sells. My OC fic came from me deciding that being in my head wasn’t enough. And now, 9 mother fucking chapters, WHOO!
In terms of schooling, welcome to a publically educated 17 year old.
Now, for my “specialties”. That means assignment, kids. You’re not special, you’ve just been given an assignment and made to think you’re good at it. I’ll generally write reviews to “Longer” anime and Anime movies. Longer, meaning anything above, I don’t know, 30 or so episodes? And movies speak for themselves. But I’ll try to get other reviews out there. I’ll do both General Summary reviews and episodic reviews.
In terms of Manga, I’ve only ever read the Hellsing manga to completion and own them all (Call me what you will, but manga cost money I don’t generally have) don’t expect many reviews on manga.
All right, that’s me. I’ll generally update whenever my lazy ass feels like it. I don’t have a life, so I’ll have as much time as Zerojackson. Hope you guys enjoy me. If you don’t, well I can’t win em all. If you’re just a troll who flames for the purpose being given attention, refer to the Chainsaw the Dub/Sub elitists are currently grinding their genitals against in a bloody slasher film orgy.
Good night/evening/afternoon/morning/mid-day/fap time/sexy time with GF and or BF/brinner.